Understanding

... And today it finally dawned on me the true meaning of "if I'm OK, then my girls will be OK." Since my nightmare started, many separated and divorced women have told me that in order for my kids to be fine, I would have to be fine and although it's something I knew, I couldn't really connect with it just yet. Well today I woke up feeling lighthearted again, for the second day in a row, and I feel wonderfully OK and I think I can finally see it with clarity. I am OK and because of that, so will my girls. Because they can see through me and all they've seen so far is a sad mommy. Today I can honestly say I feel happy. I feel radiant. I feel beautiful. And I plan to keep it that way. For my girls, for me and for all those who have traveled along with me.

Believe it

So I found out today that my pathetic husband had the guts to bring his mistress over to his father's house for dinner a couple of days ago. Apparently they all accepted her and liked her and see nothing wrong with this behavior. I'm beyond appalled. And at the same time, this incident finally opened my eyes to see these people for what they are: completely classless and worthless. Descarados!

Excited and Nervous

So tomorrow night starts my Divorce Care Support Group at the Calvary Church in Ft. Lauderdale and like a little girl the night before her first day of school, I'm nervous, excited and curious. I wonder what it'll be like and what kind of people will be involved in it. It is a 12-week course, every Thursday from 6:30 to 8:30pm and it only cost me 15 dollars for all 12 sessions. Again, much cheaper than Sylvia (who charges me $190 per hour). I will come back to this post and write about my first day of divorce care class. Wish me luck.

Victorian Zen-like Pottery Barnish Glam Mix

(The top picture shows my bed and the bottom is the picture from the website. Click on the pictures to make them bigger).

So I've been wanting to change the look of my bedroom since it became just mine. I wanted to turn it into a girly space and I was debating between going all Hollywood Glam or doing my cozy Pottery Barn style or perhaps doing something more modern along the Crate and Barrel or West Elm style or doing something Victorian and old-fashioned. Well, after searching for that perfect comforter set and debating between going neutral, going shiny, going purple, going gray, I settled for this comforter set. It looks bluish in this picture but it's sort of a gray/lavender color and I think it has all the elements I described above. I also bought the accent pillows and one of them even has some sparkly bling on it. If I had the money to change my whole bedroom furniture set, I would. I'm growing tired of the dark brown bed frame and dark brown furniture in my room. I plan to change it in the future, perhaps by the end of this year or beginning of the next. Baby steps Marissa, you're doing just fine. I can't wait to dress my bed tomorrow morning. Next item, buy pretty soothing curtains for my bedroom windows.

And this is why we're hot...

The Wongderful Sisters

Tears in Heaven...

After a grueling but rather fast battle against terminal cancer, Uncle David passed away yesterday morning. I will always remember him as a kind, funny, good-humored man. I'll never forget all the after school rides to my house you used to give me when I was an 8th grader at Pines Middle School. Heaven gained another angel yesterday. Rest in peace Uncle David, I know we'll meet again.

Love always,
Marissa

Oh Tory!

Tory Burch Patti 3 Mid Wedge

I've found a new therapist and her name is Tory. Why spend $190 for a one-hour session with Sylvia when I can go to Nordstrom and buy new Torys. They make me happier and last longer. That's all I'm saying.
Although I'm not a big fan of wedges, this model is not as high and they look really cute on. I'm getting reading for Spring.

Justice

My little girl learned about "justice" during chapel at school today. When I asked her what it meant, she replied "fairness." At such young age, I wonder if she can actually grasp the full meaning of that word. I don't think life is fair at all. Those who are good suffer and those who are shitheads seem to always come on top. From two uncles who have terminal cancer, the one who I think is the better person is dying in a hospital bed in pain, not able to eat or spend time with his wife, kids and grandchildren. The other "uncle" who has always being selfish, cheated on his wife, and God-knows what else, seems to be "going" in a rather pleasant, peaceful, happier way. Is it fair? I don't think so.

In my case, I know I shouldn't victimize myself, but I feel I'm suffering more than that asshole with this whole break-up thing when I feel I didn't do anything wrong and I stuck to my morals and my ethics. So why is it that I feel I'm going through a shittier time than he is? He's living "la vida loca" while I'm home trying to adjust to the whole single parent idea. Again, I don't think it's fair. At the same time, I'm glad it's me my kids are with and I get to be their guide, not that lost, sad man-child.

And yet, who am I to judge people? I really want to believe that those souls who are truly good will triumph at the end, if not in this life, then in the next.

Going back to Wong...

I decided to create this new blog because I was not able to change the name of my old blog. And to tell you the truth, I am not Mrs. Nedeff anymore. Girlfriend is back to being the adorable, gorgeous, smart, amazing Miss Wong. I hope this year brings me all that positive change I can almost taste. My goal is to find inner peace and true happiness this year. Cheers to a new and improved life.